The Holiday After the Holidays: Why Parents Need Time to Recover When the Children Go Back to School

The children are going back to school. You made it through the summer holidays. So why don't you feel rested?

For many parents, the summer holidays aren't really a holiday at all.

They can mean weeks of planning, feeding, entertaining, driving, negotiating, anticipating needs, managing changing routines and trying to make sure everyone else is okay.

And if you're parenting a neurodivergent child, the summer can bring another layer entirely.

Changes to routine. Different expectations. Busy places. Family days out that don't always go to plan. Siblings with completely different needs. More time together with fewer opportunities for everyone to decompress.

You may reach September feeling as though you're the one who needs six weeks off.

That's exactly why I've created The Holiday After the Holidays, a guided relaxation and virtual holiday for parents inside the Calmer Parenting Club.

Why can the summer holidays leave parents feeling exhausted?

Parenting carries a huge amount of work that nobody necessarily sees.

There's the practical work, of course: meals, washing, appointments, activities, shopping, lifts and the never-ending question of what everyone is going to eat next.

But there's also the mental load of parenting.

It's remembering who needs what. Anticipating what might be difficult. Keeping track of plans. Thinking ahead. Adjusting expectations. Noticing changes in your child's mood. Trying to prevent overwhelm before it happens.

For parents of neurodivergent children, this can also mean constantly considering sensory needs, anxiety, demands, transitions, communication and how much capacity your child has that day.

Even during lovely family moments, part of your brain can remain on duty.

So when September arrives, it isn't surprising if your first reaction isn't "What a wonderful summer!"

It might be:"I'm absolutely exhausted."

When the children go back to school, parents don't simply switch off

There's often an assumption that once the children walk through the school gates, parents can finally relax.

But bodies and minds don't necessarily work like that.

You can have a quiet house and still find your thoughts racing.

You might immediately start catching up on everything that didn't happen during the holidays. Or find yourself worrying about how your child is coping at school. Or simply feel strangely flat now that you've stopped.

When you've spent weeks responding to everyone else's needs, it can take time to remember how to attend to your own.

And that's where intentionally creating a little space for yourself can be valuable.

You don't have to try to relax

One of the things I don't particularly like about some approaches to relaxation is that they can make relaxation itself feel like another task.

Take a deep breath.

Clear your mind.

Relax your body.

And when your mind continues thinking about the PE kit you haven't bought, the email you need to send and whether there's anything for dinner, you can end up feeling as though you're doing relaxation wrong.

You're not.

That's why The Holiday After the Holidays isn't about forcing yourself to relax.

It's an invitation to stop doing for a little while.

During the guided visualisation, I'll take you away from the everyday demands of family life and on your own imaginary holiday.

No travelling.

No packing.

No checking whether everyone has remembered their toothbrush.

And, perhaps most importantly, nobody asking you for a snack.

You simply get to listen.

Why guided visualisation can be helpful when your brain won't switch off

Sometimes sitting down and telling yourself to rest isn't particularly restful.

Your body might have stopped, but your brain hasn't received the memo.

Guided imagery gives your attention somewhere else to go.

Rather than trying to create a completely blank mind, you're invited to imagine another environment: somewhere comfortable, peaceful and entirely yours.

During our virtual holiday, you'll be gently encouraged to imagine putting down some of the things you've been carrying.

The planning.

The remembering.

The anticipating.

The unfinished jobs.

The things you're already worrying about for next week.

You don't need to solve any of them.

For a short while, they can simply wait.

Parents need looking after too

This is particularly important to me because so much of my work with families centres around helping parents understand what may be happening underneath their child's behaviour and how their own calm presence can help create a greater sense of safety.

But you cannot spend your entire life being the person who holds everything for everybody else without sometimes needing somewhere to put it down.

Parent support shouldn't only be about teaching you more things to do for your child.

Sometimes support needs to be for you.

Not because you need to become a perfectly calm parent.

Not because you should never feel frustrated, overwhelmed or desperate for five minutes alone.

Because you're a human being within your family too.

You matter.

Join me for The Holiday After the Holidays

On Friday, I'll be hosting The Holiday After the Holidays inside the Calmer Parenting Club on Skool.

It's a gentle guided relaxation created especially for parents after the intensity of the summer holidays.

Find somewhere comfortable. Bring a blanket. Put your headphones on if you'd like.

And for a little while, let somebody else do the thinking.

I'll take you on the holiday.

You don't even have to pack.

Try the Calmer Parenting Club FREE for 7 days

If you're not already a member, you can access the Calmer Parenting Club free for seven days, so you can join us for the guided relaxation and explore everything else inside the community too.

The Club is designed to be somewhere parents can find practical support, useful resources and, importantly, other parents who understand that family life doesn't always look the way the parenting books suggest it should.

You'll find opportunities to ask questions, understand more about what might be sitting underneath your child's behaviour, share what's working, celebrate the tiny wins and access resources to support calmer family life.

And sometimes you can simply say:"Today's a hard day."

And be around people who get it.

So, if the summer holidays have left you feeling as though you need a holiday to recover from the holiday, I'd love you to join me on Friday.

🌴 The Holiday After the Holidays

Friday 4th September, 10.30am UK time

A guided relaxation for parents to put down the mental load, switch off and escape.

Join the Calmer Parenting Club to join this guided relaxation.

Because after spending the summer looking after everybody else, perhaps it's time somebody looked after you for a little while.