School Avoidance Awareness Week 2025

Every year, during School Avoidance Awareness Week, we shine a light on a challenge many families face but often feel too ashamed or isolated to talk about, when a child simply can’t get to school.

Maybe your mornings feel like a battleground: tears, stomach aches, headaches, or your child hiding under the duvet, whispering, “I can’t.” Perhaps they seem fine one minute and completely shut down the next — silent, panicked, or angry in a way that feels out of character. You might feel torn between wanting to comfort them and feeling pressured by school to “just get them there.”

If this sounds familiar, please know this: you are not alone, and your child is not broken. School avoidance is not bad behaviour or laziness. It’s your child’s body and brain crying out, “I don’t feel safe. I need help.”

What Is School Avoidance?

School avoidance (sometimes called “school refusal”) isn’t simply being stubborn or not wanting to go. It’s when children feel so overwhelmed, by noise, expectations, sensory overload, or social stress, that school becomes a place that feels unsafe.

It often starts with small signs:

• Difficulty getting up or out of the house

• Stomach aches or headaches before school

• Meltdowns at home after holding it together all day

• Anxiety that spikes on Sunday evenings

Without support, these feelings can grow until school feels completely impossible.

The deeper causes are often emotional exhaustion, anxiety, sensory overwhelm, or a mismatch between what school expects and what your child can cope with in that moment.

Why It’s Not Your Fault

When a child stops attending school, it’s natural for parents to feel guilt, frustration, or even fear of judgment. But here’s the truth:

• Your child’s alarm system (their fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response) is real and biological.

• Their brain and body are working hard to protect them from overwhelm, not to be difficult.

• School avoidance is a signal, not a failure — from you or your child.

  
  

Blaming yourself or your child only adds more stress. Understanding what’s happening opens the door to healing.

How to Help: Tiny Steps Toward Safety

Here are gentle, low-demand ways to support your child and begin rebuilding a sense of calm:

1. Listen to body signals - Help your child notice what their body is saying. Is their chest tight? Is their tummy swirling? Are they frozen and silent? These are signs that they’ve reached emotional overload.

2. Use calming tools - Simple strategies like star breathing, tree grounding, or naming feelings help your child regulate their nervous system.

3. Create safe communication - If speaking is hard, use drawings, feelings charts, or even a blank “help” card your child can hold up when they’re overwhelmed.

4. Support yourself, too - This journey is exhausting. Taking even five minutes to breathe, journal, or connect with other parents can make a difference for you, and for them.

   
   

Why This Week Matters

School Avoidance Awareness Week exists to raise understanding and remove the stigma families often face. It’s a reminder that these struggles are common, and that there are thousands of parents and children navigating similar paths.

With the right support, children can begin to heal and rebuild trust, even if school doesn’t feel safe right now.

The Magic of Small Steps

When a child is in survival mode, expecting big changes too quickly can backfire. Instead, focus on tiny, achievable steps that help your child feel safe and understood.

At Magic Minds, we use story-based hypnotherapy tools to gently guide children through overwhelm.One of our favourites is a calm, comforting audio story called The Mystery of the Missing Sparkle, which teaches children three simple strategies:

• 🌟 Star Breathing – to calm racing thoughts

• 🌳 Heavy Like a Tree – to feel grounded and steady

• 💬 Name It to Tame It – to express feelings safely

  
  

These tools don’t “fix” school avoidance overnight, but they give your child the confidence to listen to their body and take small steps toward balance.

What You Can Do Right Now

• Pause and let your child know you believe them. Even saying, “I see you, and I know this feels hard,” can reduce fear.

• Practice a calming tool together, like the Tree Grounding Exercise.

• Download our free audio and parent guide to learn strategies that will help you both navigate this journey with more ease.

  
  

Download Your Free Support Pack

To help families during School Avoidance Awareness Week, we’ve created a free downloadable pack:

• 🎧 The Mystery of the Missing Sparkle Audio – a gentle, story-based hypnotherapy session for children.

• 📘 Parent Support Booklet – packed with practical tips, worksheets, and understanding to help you support your child and yourself.

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👉 Download your free audio and workbook here: School Avoidance Kit | Magic Minds

Final Thoughts

School avoidance isn’t about refusing to learn or misbehaving. It’s a sign that a child is overwhelmed and desperately needs safety, connection, and compassion.

You and your child are not alone. With understanding and the right support, it is possible to reduce anxiety, rebuild trust, and rediscover that inner sparkle that shines when a child feels truly safe.

This week, and every week, let’s spread awareness, reduce judgment, and remind every parent and child:

You are not broken. You are enough. And you deserve to feel calm, connected, and contented.

Why Your Calm Matters: How Parents Can Co-Regulate and Support Their Child’s Emotions

Parenting a neurodivergent child (or any child) comes with beautifully bright moments—and also times of overwhelm, frustration, or burnout. If you’ve ever felt like your stress is meeting your child’s stress in a perfect storm, you’re far from alone. What many parents don’t realise is just how much their own emotional state influences their child’s ability to calm themselves. This is where co-regulation comes in: a concept rooted in research, psychology, and everyday parent-child relationships.

What Is Co-Regulation?

Co-regulation is the process where a caregiver—usually a parent—shares not just presence but emotional support, helping the child regulate or soothe their emotions. It’s not about fixing things, suppressing feelings, or always having perfect control. It’s about being attuned, responsive, calm, and guiding moments of emotional upset in a way that the child feels seen and supported.

Why Parental Calm Is So Crucial

1. Your Emotional State Sets the Tone

Children are highly sensitive to cues from adults. When a parent is stressed, dysregulated, or reactive, a child’s nervous system can pick up on that and mirror it. Conversely, calm, regulated parents help create a safe emotional environment. Over time, children learn to internalise that calm.

2. Co-Regulation Builds Self-Regulation Skills

Research shows that children gradually move from needing external help (from parents, caregivers) to being more able to regulate themselves. Co-regulation is a bridge in that process. When you stay calm and responsive, you teach them what managing feelings looks like in real life—how to pause, breathe, and move forward.

3. Reduces Emotional Escalation and Helps Repair

If stress builds in both parent and child, meltdowns or conflict often escalate. But when parents can catch their own reactivity, stay grounded, and tune in to what the child needs, the interaction becomes an opportunity for connection instead of conflict. Repairing after a tough moment (apologising, reconnecting) also strengthens trust.

4. Supports Long-Term Wellbeing and Resilience

Children who experience consistent supportive co-regulation develop better emotional literacy, empathy, problem-solving, and mental resilience. The consistency of a calm, caring adult helps shape a child’s brain and nervous system for stress, so that future challenges are more manageable.

Practical Ways to Cultivate Your Calm & Co-Regulate

Here are simple, research-backed strategies you can begin to practice right now:

• Pause & breathe: before you respond in a moment of upset, take a breath (or a few). This gives space for your nervous system to shift.

• Label your own emotion: silently name how you feel (“I’m frustrated,” “I’m tired”) to help you notice reactivity.

• Get down to their level: physically and emotionally. Eye contact, soft tone, acknowledging what they feel (“That looks hard / I can see you’re upset”).

• Model calmness: gestures, voice, posture matter. If you speak quietly, move slowly, it helps your child’s body follow.

• Create rituals of reset: bedtime rituals, breathing exercises together, “pause bubbles” (imaginary safe bubbles), or small shared moments of calm each day.

  
  

Overcoming Obstacles

It’s totally normal to slip up. Parents are human. Sometimes stress, fatigue, or overwhelm get the better of us—and that's okay. What matters is:

• recognising when you’re reactive,

• doing what you can to soothe yourself (even briefly),

• then returning to connection (repair).

  
  

Also, seeking support helps: whether from your partner, friends, community, or professional support. The more you feel held and understood, the easier calm becomes in daily parenting.

Looking Ahead: A Place for Parents Who Want More

If you’re reading this, chances are you want more tools, more connection, more support. That’s exactly why Magic Minds Parents’ Hub is being created — a supportive space for parents to learn co-regulation, find gentle strategies, share stories, and grow without shame or pressure.

It isn’t open yet, but you can Like my Facebook page where I'll announce when the Hub opens it's doors!

Conclusion

Your calm really does matter. It’s a gift you give not only to your child—helping them feel safe, seen, regulated—but also to yourself. With patience, small shifts, and kindness toward yourself, you can deepen your connection with your child and cultivate more moments of peace in your family.

Here’s to breathing, pausing, and growing together. 💛

Back to School, Back to Chaos? How to Bring Calm to After-School Meltdowns

The first day back at school…

For many families, it’s a bittersweet moment. You wave your child off at the school gate, perhaps breathe a sigh of relief, and think, “Finally, we can get back to some kind of routine.”

But by 3:30pm, reality hits. The door bursts open, shoes are kicked off, and within minutes the chaos begins. Tears, shouting, slammed doors. And you left wondering, “What happened to my lovely child?”

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Why After-School Chaos Happens

For neurodivergent children, the school day can feel like running a marathon while balancing on a tightrope. They spend hours masking, following rules, navigating noisy classrooms, and managing constant social interactions.

By the time they get home, their nervous system is completely overloaded. Home, their safe place, is where all that bottled-up stress explodes.

This is After School Restraint Collapse, better known as the Coke Bottle Effect: Shake a bottle all day long, and when the lid comes off… it explodes.

This isn’t bad behaviour. It’s not bad parenting. It’s a sign of overwhelm, and your child needs co-regulation, not punishment.

Back to School, Back to Chaos

As routines change with the start of a new term, meltdowns often spike. New classrooms, new teachers, new demands — even small changes can send anxiety soaring.

And while school might see a “well-behaved” child, you see the after-effects at home:

• Explosive emotions 💥

• Total emotional shut-downs 😞

• Clinging, crying, or even aggression 💔

  
  

It’s exhausting, and it can leave you feeling helpless.

But here’s the good news: Calm is possible. You don’t have to stay stuck in this cycle.

Introducing the Calm Charm Spell

I created the Calm Charm Spell audio as a simple, quick tool to help you and your child reset after school. It takes just a few minutes to listen to, and it works like a magic reset button: calming frazzled nervous systems and bringing peace back to your home.

Here’s how families are using it:

• Straight after school to prevent meltdowns before they begin.

• Before homework or dinner, creating a smoother transition.

• At bedtime, to help everyone unwind and sleep peacefully.

  
  

Your Next Step

You don’t have to face after-school chaos alone. The Calm Charm Spell is your first step towards creating calmer evenings and a more connected family life.

Imagine a home where:

• Your child feels safe and understood.

• You feel calm and confident instead of helpless.

• Evenings end with laughter and peace, not tears.

  
  

That transformation begins here. 🌟

🎧 Download your free Calm Charm Spell audio today: https://www.magicmindshypnotherapy.co.uk/freegift